in conclusion....

To continue my post from the other day in regards to being the primary caregiver for my children...

So as I was saying, I'm the busy mom of two beautiful children. They keep me busy, tired, entertained and have given me the most fulfilling job in the world. When we decided to have children I knew that I was signing on to do the majority of parenting.

YES, absolutely I think that parenting is a two person job.

If you were a part of making them you should also be a part of raising them...that includes contributing to the every-day running of the household, changing diapers, reading stories, disciplining....you name it.

However being a cop's wife means that even though this is what we strive for, almost all of this falls on me. My husband wants to be apart of our everyday lives and when he can contribute he does. Which I am SO grateful for. His recent parental leave was such a welcome blessing. Delaying it til Tiny Bear was 6 months old provided a chance for me to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Now that we are back to the regular routine I am again reminded on the way things are. He can basically not be counted on for anything. I don't resent this and it doesn't make me upset. It is simply the reality of what I do. On the days when it is different or I get a break I am pleasantly suprised.

There is never a guarnatee that he will be home on time. This isn't a regular 9am-5pm job. I can't plan anything for after a ship and count on him actually be there to, for example, eat supper with us, watch the girls while I get a haircut or go to work, etc etc. If I need a break or have something that has to be done with the children, like my other *job* I have to arrange my own childcare. If we have planned on making it work for him to take care of JJ and Tiny Bear I almost always have to have a back up plan in my mind because chance are the one day we think it will work it won't.

On his days off he needs time to decompress unwind and transition back to family life just in time to go back to work.

Even though there are two of us, most days I feel like a single parent. The "to-do" list is long, I hardly accomplish much and the few moments I do get to myself I have a choice of about 10 things that need to get done. Most of the time what I need gets put on the back burner to accomplish something that will benefit everyone around me.

Most days I'm just tired.

Its a good thing I type fast or I would never be able to maintain a blog. I could write more but the dishes are calling, laundry needs to be folded, children need to be changed out of pajamas, I have a stack of phone calls to make for work and a number of family administrative things to take care of....plus I have to find time to workout, nap, read this incredibly good book my husband found me called "I love a cop" (more on that later) and make sure I'm happy and have supper ready when he comes home from work.

I love my husband, my children and our life... I just wouldn't mind a nap ;)