The anticipation had been building. I'm not sure who was more excited and anxious, me or JJ.
My anxiousness was just making sure we got to class on time. She was pumped!
"Is it time for dance class?"
"Its my first dance class!!"
"Really, mom? Is it time for dance class?"
She was excited as we drove the 1/2 block to her class. Yes, I said drove. I thought it was further, but it was not. In fact, I can see the dance studio from my house. I just didn't know that was the dance studio.
We made it early. JJ was excited. I was excited. We put her little tap shoes on and sent her in.
I watched as she excitedly smacked around her food according to the instructors suggestions and instructions and then something changed.
My gregarious 3 year old started to shut down. It started with 1 finger in the mouth and limited movements. Then 3 fingers in her mouth and no movements at all. She was holding on to one of the helpers hands and doing nothing.
Standing there, sucking on three fingers, her eyes huge, she refused to do anything. She managed to shuffle along to my side of the room where I was sitting just outside the studio door. I reached in and tugged her hand over and took her fingers out of her mouth. I told her to take them out and encouraged her to keep going. She buried her head in my shoulder and refused to return to class. There were a few false starts and buckling legs as I tried to haul her back into the room. We spent the rest of the class with her sitting with her head in my lap, or wiggling around and refusing to be encouraged back into it. I even threatened to make her go sit in the car by herself if she wouldn't smarten up and at least sit and watch.
As soon as I went to talk to her I realised my mistake.
I was interfering in the class.
If I'd left well enough alone she probably would have stayed in the class, sucking her fingers, but at least stayed.
I was THAT mom who tried to help out her kid at an inappropriate time.
My lack of experience felt embarrassing.
I'm embarrassed I didn't know better.
How could I though? It was my first dance class too.
I at least had the sense to apologise to the teacher.
We'll try again next week. Then the next...and keep at it.
We aren't quitters.
And I'll try not to be that mom anymore.
I don't know if I would say you were an interferring mom. She is 3 after all, not 8 or 13. 3-year olds get overwhelmed and need their mom and I think for the first class, you did what you should have done. It is what I would have done. However, for the next class, I would let her know that she has to stay in the class the whole time, and she has to try. I rewarded our boys each time they went to soccer/baseball and tried. No reward for hanging onto my leg the whole time - a reward for trying. And that worked for them. Now they don't need rewards to go and try because they are older but they needed that incentive when they were younger. Don't be too hard on yourself - you are your child's biggest advocate and that is what you are doing.
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