Dis(en)couraged

Its no secret I have my own home-based business. I don't blog about it much here because I'm not interested in winning people over to what I have to sell. I have a thriving business and I'm good at what I do. 5 and a 1/2 years in and it has never been better.

Last night I had 3 hosts cancel/postpone their shows on me. My calendar was completely full but that brings me up to four postponements now.

I've been working really hard to earn a trip to Hawaii for free to take John Rambo with me. I've earned the first level already, a trip for 1 to New Orleans, but have really had my heart set on Hawaii. The problem is that I'm playing catch up. I N.E.E.D.E.D every one of those shows that I had on my calendar.

I'm tired. I'm working hard. I've sacrficed time with my girls to push for this goal. Its not over yet and I still have time and I'll keep my nose to the grindstone. I shouldn't really even stop to think on it. I shoulda just picked up the phone and booked 4 more shows. But I'm stopping to briefly to alight on the feeling of discouragement.

Shoving feelings down and not acknowledging them is what feeds clinical depression. Its a mean beast. The point is to not stay here but move on.

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JR is currently having a meeting with his 'boss'. He put in to take a course and was told they had to meet before he would consider sending him on the course. I don't know how he'll handle it if they don't send him. You know the straw that broke the camel's back?

Yah, we are there.

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I'm encouraged though that I have a cousin stopping by tomorrow. She is only the 4th family member to ever come visit me since I moved 4 years ago. The first two were my mom and dad, the next, her sister. Its nice that she thought to stop by with her husband while they are visiting some of his family.

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I'm encouraged because September was my best month in business ever.

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I'm encouraged because we have a really wonderful LEO family coming to share the Thanksgiving holiday with us on Monday. Turkey! Yum.

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I'm encouraged because even though right now I might cry tears of frustration, tiredness and helplessness I know that the Lord cares enough to bottle up all those tears and be close to the broken hearted.