Rattle and Hum

To say that I'm rattled at the end of my day would be an understatement.

Half of the living room is in the kitchen as I decided to shampoo our carpets tonight. It needed to be done and I had an Electrolux Carpet Cleaner just begging to be used. That thing is ancient of days. My mother-in-law said and I quote "it is like 500 years old."

Not quite that old but I did feel like I was some housewife out of the 1950s and shoulda been wearing a skirt, button down top and frilly apron. I have all three but decided on shorts and one of JRs long sleeve t-shirts instead.

The darn thing nearly ran away on me once or twice because if you hit the foot pedal down and the handle comes flying back at you it is likely to take off on its own. Only happened once. I giggled as I frantically tried to gain control of the device sputtering across the living room floor.

A short while later a phone call from JR indicated he got his pay stub for next Wednesday. It was far less then we had budgeted for and it appears that he is still catching up on paying for his pension benefits from when he was on parental leave. Bummer number one. I'd been hoping that some overtime would come through and we'd have some more cash for our upcoming trip. This'll eat up our "extra" money for the next little while.

Bummer number two is that he also hasn't been able to get anyone to cover his shift the night before the concert when we are supposed to be in another city more then 7 hours away enjoying our jacuzzi bathtub.

Bummer number three is that on top of the lower then expected paycheque, I had to buy myself a mouthgaurd and pay my dental bill today. There was a bunch of stuff my insurance didn't cover. Yay me. The receptionist laughed when I said, "there goes my shopping money. At least I'll have some pimped out teeth at night." She suggested that I wear it to the U2 concert just to show it off. *snorffles* Yah, brilliant idea. It is purple...so you know...might be hawt!

Though almost all of this trip is paid for we may need a bit of extra gas money, a few meals on the road and then as I'd been so excited the chance to actually do a bit of shopping. Its hard when nearly your entire wardrobe is too big on you, underwire's are popping out of your bras and tanktops have endless amounts of holes in them. I'm starting to feel a little ragged around the edges. I've spent the last three summers pregnant with JJ, post-partum with JJ and pregnant again when she was 6 1/2 months old, and then post-partum last spring with newborn Tiny Bear. My wardrobe consists of maternity, nursing tops and then everything in many different seasons from a size 10-16. I have almost nothing left in my "skinny clothes" pile to fit into as besides 2 things, it all fits comfortably and most of it is from about 6 years ago. I've been working really hard and though my body is different after having children I'm really embracing the new me. Heck, I weigh 169lbs. I didn't even weigh that in highschool. That is something I'd like to celebrate! I look good. My clothes unfurtately, not so much.

The verse that pops into my head all the time when I'm frustrated and trying to put together something that looks presentable is this. There is a scripture in Matthew 6 that keeps popping into my head everytime I stand infront of my closet and grumble or worry that I won't look right leaving the house. This is taken from Matthew 6 in The Message translation:

27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

At the end of the day it starts off as it began. I'm so thankful for the oppurtunity the Lord has given us to get away together. I trust that it is in His hands. Whether I can shop or not doesn't matter. Going away with my husband to celebrate the fact that we are still married is priceless. I'll wear crappy clothes for a lifetime if it means a closer relationship with the Lord and my husband. It matters far much more who we are then what we wear. I'm not there yet but I pray that each day the Lord will bring me past my insecurities and closer to His face, His truth and His view of what is to be treasured in a woman.